The Modernist's Glossary, Or How Fucked Up Are We Really?

Every age has its worries . . .

Words and phrases that don't necessarily mean what you think any more

Activist = troublemaker, shit stirrer, agitator, hoodlum with a contrived cause

Advertising = George Orwell put it best when he described it as the rattling of the stick in a pig's slop bucket.

Airport security = mainly a series of arbitrary, even silly, procedures that inconvenience, debase and delay passing travellers without really guaranteeing their safety or security in the air or on the ground

Anti-abortion, this along with gay marriage = the main perennial theme songs sung ad nauseum by right-wing political and religious crazies to drive through and impose their broader fascist agendas on everyone else. The anti-abortion fools don't seem to realize that even if they manage to re-criminalize on-demand abortions  a change in law will do less than nothing for curb the practice; prior to the legalization of abortion in 1973, there were far more illegal abortions per year than there ever have been since the operations were legalized. On gay marriage, actor/director Clint Eastwood best summed up the idiocy surrounding the opposition: "I don't give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not?! We're making a big deal out of things we shouldn't be making a big deal out of ... Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want."

Anti-capitalist = a person ignorant of history and economics, living in delusion, possibly neurotic, psychotic and/or violent

Alternative facts = A Trumpism invented in efforts to hide lies, manipulations, exaggerations and other twists of the truth.

Anarchist = much like an anti-capitalist, though profoundly more ignorant and prone to exhibiting insane behaviour and committing violent acts

Asylum seeker = usually just an economic opportunist, at best a social welfare system parasite in his/her/their new host country. At worst: they're 'missionaries' of sorts, out to sow their malicious, often islamic madness, in their target countries.

Austerity (in government finances, fiscal manipulation) = A chump term used by the rich and privileged and their political puppets to steal from the poor or to deprive them of rights and services any decent society would provide happily and gratis

'Brutal' murder, rape, etc. = as opposed to gentle versions of those crimes. C'mon, what a stupid adjective in this context.

Budget reform, deficit reduction = terms flogged by right-wing politicians and their cheerleaders in an effort to shift attention from their true goals of protecting the interests of the rich at the expense of the poor

Catalonia = A captive nation being illegally retained as one of the last parts of the Spanish empire despite a clear mandate from the Catalonians that they want independence. Spanish leaders and their masters in the European Union want to retain Catalonia because it contributes heavily to the Spanish/EU treasury -- against Catalonia's will. Without Spain/EU sucking Catalonia's economy dry its citizens would be among the best off financially in the world. It's an old story.

Christmas = The year's main celebration of retail madness, coloured lights, general gluttony, runaway greed and the slaughter of billions of turkeys. Joy to the world, fuck yeah!

Conservatism = This no longer means what it traditionally did in economic or political terms. Now, on a personal basis, it is an almost fanatical devotion to selfishness and bigotry in one's lifestyle and outlook. It's the ultimate me-ism with the credo, being, perhaps: 'I got mine, fucker, and I'll be damned if I'll let you get yours (even if it costs me nothing.).' The phrase coming to mind is: rob the poor and give to the rich. In governing, the same general tenets dictate, except on a more macro basis. So-called conservative governments tend to be mean spirited, penny pinching, austerity imposing, bureaucracies whose aims are to protect the haves at the expense of the haves-not. They are not driven in the least by decency and service. And pain and deprivation to their constituencies is irrelevant to the mongers of these policies. In the UK these people would be tories; in the U.S.A, they would generally be Republicans.

Cynic = Your webmaster here.

Dictator, tyrant = any political leader the governments of the US and/or UK don't like or who they want eliminated or replaced.

Estate agent, Realtor, real estate seller, property flogger = a parasite

European Union = the renewed multi-century effort by Germany and France to control all of Europe; once again, it's not going all that well, though it's nice that ordnance and troops aren't involved this time. Yet.

Fake news = Sometimes there really is fake news. But most of the time this term is used by the American president Donald Trump or more often, lately by his supporters, in his efforts to destroy confidence in the media when they accurately report the crazy things and lies he spews and things he does and the ridiculously incompetent losers and accused (and real) criminals he appoints to positions of authority.

Forcible rape = As opposed to consensual rape, I guess. A construct adopted by American Republicans, to bolster their mad urge to ban all abortions because, in their minds, some women allow themselves to be 'raped' and then get pregnant with fetuses they do not want, just so they can seek abortions. While there may be some sliver of an excuse needed to justify aborting a foetus conceived during what they call a forcible rape, these fools contend that pregnancies occurring after happier, gentler rapes would be ineligible for abortion relief. Total bollocks, of course.

Fox News = An oxymoron

Freedom of expression/speech = The bedrock upon which free societies exist or perish if it is thwarted. Most politicians profess to protect this freedom while they relentlessly try to chisel it apart when opportunities present themselves or there is some problem it is causing these opportunists. I have to quote Joni Mitchell: Don't it always seem to go,That you don't know what you've got 'Till it's gone. Amen.

Gender =  A man is a man. A woman is a woman. A man who dresses as a woman is a man. A man who chops his tackle off to try to be a woman is just a mutilated man. A man's change of attire does not change a he into a she. A woman is just that; if she augments herself to appear otherwise, it doesn't change the underlying facts of her birth. It would seem simple enough, except in the perverse alphabet soup in use of late to politically correct identify all the weirdos seeking recognition of their many and varied social problems. You are not and cannot be neuter. Any different version of this is an obfuscation in general and a delusion. You may not alter and pervert the English language to reclassify yourself as a they or whatever. Maybe you can be an 'it.'

Global financial crisis = a politically correct term that was aimed at disguising the 2008 outcome of the sacking of the international banking and securities systems by thieves/con artists who were then allowed to keep most of the loot they stole without, in most cases, getting so much as a hand slap.

Global warming, climate change = the no longer so insidious creeping reminder that Nature can end man -- and probably will.

Great (Irish) Famiine = Genocide. Should be called The Irish Holocaust, England's bold attempt to kill off the Irish race during the 1840s. Take a peek at a few of these for a plate full of real famine truth.

Health care, as in affordable and available = something rich people and politicians, particularly 'conservatives,'  believe should be denied to poor and poorer people who see any and all illness-injury as a portent of doom and/or bankruptcy. Never in the history of humans has the ability to cure and treat all maladies been more available due to scientific advances; never has care been MADE more financially inaccessible. Why is this?

Hip Hop, Rap, etc. = noise

I'll ring you back (answer given when seeking something from many a business person or bureaucrat by phone) = Instead, it usually means: 'Fuck off! I'm tired of talking to you and couldn't care less if you ever find what you're seeking. You'll hear from me again shortly after hell freezes over.'

Journalism = the information circus, largely controlled these days by profit seekers, bean counters,.ego maniacs and would-be stars, and others involved in making huge amounts of money at the expense of the public's desperate need for objective and accurate news reportage. While feeding their readers/listeners/watchers pap about celebs, wannabe celebs and obscenely overpaid athletes rather than impart important news in our world, the media shovel out drivel without any regard for the quality or veracity of what they're broadasting or publishing..

Journalists = the clowns in the above circus

LGBT, etc. = queer, in one form or another

Low-cost or discount airline = a transportation company purporting to save travellers money, but doing so by offering shoddy and/or impolite service, questionable safety and a generally bad travel experience for its customers who really don't get much, if any, real cost relief

Middle Class = Something that no longer exists. Ten individuals in the world have amassed more wealth than the other nearly 8 billion of us have in total

.Nationalism = Childish. Selfish. Vicious. All bullshit aside this means the nationalist is saying: My country is better than yours. (See Patriotism)

Patriotism = A form of bigotry often tinged with insanity, or consider the words of these brilliant folks.

Patriot Act, The = America's knee-jerk reaction to the events of Sept. 11, 2001, signed by president George Bush. The law, probably in violation of the Constitution in many ways, vastly expands law enforcement authorities to tap phones, conduct searches, arrest people with little probable cause, incarcerate people with no charge, probe banking and other financial activities, and a raft of additional incursions into private lives. The first draft of this odius law was George Orwell's 1984.

Politician = Often a greedy megalomaniac with an aversion to telling the truth. As someone once said, Public office is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

Politics = Deferring here to Frank Zappa, it's the 'entertainment division of the military industrial complex.'

Politically correct = A bullshit term aimed at keeping people from voicing their true opinions and thoughts.

Privatization = The darling philosophy (wank fantasy) of right-wing government operatives and politicians through which socially necessary services usually and/or traditionally provided by government are handed to private for-profit companies to run instead. This has grown out of the right-wing philosophy that government should be run like a business. In fact, government should be run as government, a service to the people -- all of the people, and not necessarily in a profit-making mode. Typically, less profitable segments of whatever is being provided are jettisoned by the private companies to boost their earnings, thus leaving the public desperately needing those services and having nowhere to turn for assistance. Meanwhile, duplicitous politicians and bureaucrats no longer have the non-profitable services on their books and can boast about their new efficiencies in office. Consider some of these critics' thoughts on privatization, such as Noam Chomsky, who refers to it as 'unaccountable tyranny.'  

Protester = Usually someone eager to push his/her interests ahead of everyone else's under a supposed agenda of promoting some lofty and valued goal or change of his/her own choice

'Radical' cleric (so-called) = one of the worst types of human shit bag, a zealot who hides behind religion to promote and/or excuse his/her agenda of anything from general troublemaking to mass murder.

Rap/Hip Hop = Noise.

Reality TV = An oxymoron; there is no reality involved, and no real entertainment value unless you're mentally impaired or a drooling ward escapee

Recession = A nice way to describe the effects of a periodic monetary nut squeeze by non-lending financial institutions in the aftermath of their plundering by their own employees and executives while brain-dead and/or paid off regulators and politicians snooze

Referendum = an issue presented for a general vote that gives a sickeningly false and manipulative impression that the public actually controls their governments' action in a supposed true general democratic action.

Religion = the biggest con game the world has ever seen. Why does god need so much money, anyway?

Religious freedom = the most destructive contradiction in terms in all history

Religious Right = not right, not religious, just right wing/fascists willing to sacrifice anything to impose the will of this movement's supporters' contrived and cleverly re-invented Jesus mania (anti-Catholic, anti Jewish, anti muslim, anti liberal) on every one who opposes them.

Ryanair = Borrowing a fictional species from Star Trek Next Generation, these are the Ferengi of commercial European air travel.

Single use plastic objects (of all types) = an almost unparalleled example of the corrupt, cynical and irresponsible approach modern society has for the planet that gives them life.

Stand-up comedian = usually someone who says fuck repeatedly and does/says lots of vulgar things that usually are not funny. Except for the late George Carlin, of course, who was vulgar, said fuck and lot, but cut to the quick of social and political bullshit like no one else.

St. Patrick' s Day = A multinational celebration of alcohol abuse and drunkenness. An opportunity for saloons the world over to try and outdo themselves with all sorts of faux irishisms. And all references to 'Irish' foodism seem to regale corned beef, something fairly rarely eaten in Ireland.

Tea Party Republicans (America) = Political terrorists, willing to wreck anything in their path to get their way. Sort of an American taliban. Many similarities to their rag-headed Middle East counterparts.

Terrorist = anyone who does something violent or threatening for any reason we don't like, regardless of other possibly
mitigating factors

tRump, government of = a dystopian regime built on its leader's serial and outright lying, mysogyny, xenophobia, half truths, racial smearing, innuendo, name smearing, general ignorance, contempt for legislative procedure, third-hand information spewing and many more bad things, including more lying and obstruction of legal processes. And don't forget personal, boundless greed. Will this crazy man and his imbecilic regime yet make errors that will lead to global cataclysm.

United States of America = Basically one non-united country with at least two political entities operating dysfunctionally and perniciously independent of each other side-by-side, one Democrat and the other Republican. Neither recognizes the other's right to exist, an evil and dangerous situation brought about by crazed ideologues who really do believe it's better to break than bend. They should consider the words of the late President Lyndon Johnson. Johnson, a Texas Democratic senator from 1949-1961 who, despite his own shortcomings, even in the 1960s, still recognized how a republic was supposed to work: 'I'm a compromiser and a maneuverer. I try to get something done. That's the way our system works.' The system has stopped working.

United Nations, The = a joke. Consider its Security Council, where Russia and China shake their penises at the rest of the world whenever there's an important issue to consider and vote to block anything that remotely makes sense. If the UN ever worked, it ceased doing so a long time ago.

Vegetarianism = A serious eating disorder. Therapy may be employed to fix this as most sufferers crave complex animal proteins, but the general outlook is poor.

Veganism = A very serious eating disorder, one that points to deep-seated neuroses that probably are not curable.

X-Factor (and all the variations on this theme constantly being aired) = supposedly a music contest, this pile of boring and stinky TV poo is really just a huge money churner for promoters and sponsors.

Yule = the winter solstice and the age-old embodiment of what Christmas is supposed to be -- the welcoming back of the God into the world after his exit after the rest of the year's productive/reproductive season and the onset of winter.

Updated as adequate quantities of beer allow.

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